This is my truth

Dear Mom and Dad,

It is probably 2016 now and I'm getting ready to graduate with my bachelors degree.  Do you remember, 4 years ago when we spoke on the phone and I told you that graduating was one of several goals that I had set for myself?  Well this is one of those goals.

Presuming that you don't already know by someone else in the family telling you, I am transgendered.  Specifically I identify as a transsexual woman.  I'm sure you've noticed the changes over the last four years, the effects of being on estrogen are really hard (and painful) to hide.  This is not something that I came to understand about myself easily.  I've been struggling with this feeling of wrongness with the way my body has been developing and the way it forces me into a male role.

I feel that this may be impossible for you guys to understand.  After all, how can a cat understand what it is like to be a dog?  We ultimately can only trust the experiences that are our own, and the experiences of those we trust.

There's something.  Honesty.  Growing up it was always hard for me to be honest.  When you tell one lie, it becomes easier to tell other lies just out of habit.  I've been trying hard to purge all the lies from my life.  IT hasn't been easy at all.  The important truths are never easy to accept.  I've been struggling with my sex and gender for a long time.  Even begging God to take this pain from me.  He didn't, and I still fought my feelings, and I spiraled deeper and deeper into depression.

Things didn't start getting better until I came to accept myself and stopped fighting.  The last 8 years have been an up hill battle, but it's always up hill when you're climbing out of a hole.  Some days are bad, and some days are good.  As I go on I have more and more good days and fewer bad days.  This is even true as I write this.



To be continued...